when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
