I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
