After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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