is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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