so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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