I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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