Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize