I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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