So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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