I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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