So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
