I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
