Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
