I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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