we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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