I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I love you. Go after that dick
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
