At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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