i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
