She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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