so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Acid is not a monday night drug
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
