I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
