i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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