When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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