the condom got lost in my hair
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
