youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
