Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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