Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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