worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I want her autograph on my taint
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
