forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
