i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
