a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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