By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
