I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
