what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
