I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Are we still banned from the library?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
