is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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