I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Randomize
