i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
