My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
