i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
