Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i've created a new STD.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
