Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
