Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
