Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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