he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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