oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
