My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
