Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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