I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
