I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
