i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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