i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
