I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom