pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
