They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
