Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize