Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
