omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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