I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize