well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
