You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
