I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
accomplished twins. life is a go
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
