If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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