If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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