i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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